What Did You Enjoy when you were Five?

I’ve always loved finding stuff.

As a little girl, it was nearly impossible to get me to come inside. In the springtime, as soon as the sun came up, I would be outside with a bucket, head to the ground, searching for “treasures.” Those “treasures” included rocks, sticks, leaves, acorns, slugs, frogs, and (if it was a good day) a salamander. I would turn over every rock to make sure I didn’t miss a thing. Once my collection felt complete, I would pour it out proudly and sort through it until dinnertime.

In the summer, my mom would refer to me as a “fish” because I refused to get out of the pool. You could find me underwater, playing pretend and, once again, looking for treasure. Summer nights lasted longer, so I would be back out again, catching fireflies until it was time for bed.

My favorite experience of all, though, was when my family would go on a beach vacation. There, between the ocean and my family’s beach chairs, I was in my collecting glory. I would spend the whole day collecting seashells. When I was five, I would collect any and all shells without much deliberation. As I got older, though, I spent my time hunting for the most pristine and unique ones. At the end of the day, I would proudly present and share each one with my family. There are still tubs of them in my parents’ garage.

Something changed, though. As an adolescent, it was no longer “cool” to search for shells. Instead, I would lather myself in baby oil and work on my tan. When I would take a break to cool off by the ocean, a shell would inevitably catch my eye, but I stopped collecting. I stopped finding stuff.

As an adult, I never thought much about any of that until I started reading Mastery by Robert Greene. The book prompts readers to think about what they enjoyed when they were young. That’s when the special memory I just shared popped into my mind.

He describes this exercise as finding your life’s task, or vocation. He explains that in childhood, our uniqueness first expresses itself through primal inclinations, or forces within us that come from a deeper place than conscious words can express. They draw us toward certain experiences and away from others. These inclinations first show up in childhood. On Huberman Lab Podcast, Robert expands on this idea by referencing Abraham Maslow’s “impulse voices”, or those internal cues that tell us what we do and don’t like.

Can you remember what your favorite ice cream flavor was when you were five? No one told you to like it. You just did.

Robert goes on to say that as we age, that voice quiets. Parents and educators begin to redirect us. The voice gets quieter and quieter as other noise, like the opinions of others and societal pressures, gets louder. Eventually, you might find yourself majoring in something practical in college, entering the workforce with that impulse voice muted, and choosing the status quo because it feels safe… and profitable.

But he also says that if we can counter that, if we can tap back into that impulse voice, it will start to whisper our life’s task, the thing we’re meant to do. And when we find it, life gets a whole lot better. We’re energized. We’re emotionally invested. Learning feels easier. Stress diminishes. And, I'll add in this part, we get to wake up to a life we’re actually excited about.

Okay, whew.

After some deep reflection, I realized that, thankfully, and completely unbeknownst to me at the time, my love for finding things and sharing them has followed me into adulthood. Now, instead of finding treasures in the backyard or seashells on the beach, I spend my time as an educator finding new and unique ways to share information with my students. As a PhD student, I spent my time collecting literature, theories, ideas, and data to support my hypotheses. And now, I spend much of my free time searching for knowledge that I can apply both personally and professionally to live a satisfying and fulfilling life… some of which I get to share with you.

That was a big ah-ha moment for me. One that makes me smile.

I share all of that to ask you: What did you enjoy when you were five?

Are you doing any of that “stuff” now?

I hope so.

Note: I did collect shells again for the first time when I was on vacation in Cape May last year with my husband. It was pure magic.

Find one thing that brings you joy today.

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