When Was the Last Time You Were Bored?

Picture this with me.

It’s a Wednesday morning in mid-January, and you’re 9 years old. You hear a snowplow’s wheels crunching over the snow-covered road outside your bedroom window. You sit up, making sure you’re not still dreaming, and then cautiously peek through the blinds to see if it is what you think it is...a snow day. The stillness, sparkling treetops, and now-deserted busy street confirm that your wish came true. It’s a snow day!

Now, depending on the type of 9-year-old you were, you probably did one of two things:

1. Went right back to sleep with a big smile of relief on your face, or

2. Sprung out of bed and rushed outside to play in the snow.

   
   

I was the type of kid who always chose option two. My first mission was to make as many snow angels as possible, followed by building a fort, sledding, and then getting so cold that I was forced to come inside.

Once I came in and finally defrosted, the first words out of my mouth were, “I’m bored.”

One of my working parents, who inevitably had to take the day off to watch me, would respond with something like, “Oh, I have things for you to do if you’re bored,” which usually consisted of suggestions like cleaning my room or doing some other household chore. The moment that recommendation was made, I would quickly respond, “Actually, I’m not bored! I’m going to go…” and without fail, I’d find something else to do to fill my time before I was “bored” again.

Even as a little kid, I hated being bored.

Why?

Because, well, it was uncomfortable.

As a 30+ adult woman, it is still uncomfortable.

When was the last time you let yourself be bored?

I’m going to make an assumption: if you’re reading this, you’re high-achieving and extremely busy. But take a moment to think about your adult version of that 9-year-old snow day. If you ever get the time, do you fill it with more “stuff,” or do you actually let yourself just be bored?

If you let yourself be bored, you can tune out now; you’re already practicing what I’m about to preach. But if you’re like me and can’t even imagine the possibility of doing nothing, then hang tight.

If you’ve been following along, you know I’ve been deep in the life design, meaning of life, How of Happiness, and life satisfaction literature. On that journey, I was first introduced to the work of Dr. Arthur Brooks through his book The Happiness Files, now one of my all-time favorites.

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about today.

This article was inspired by his recently released book, The Meaning of Your Life, where he strongly encourages us to get better at being bored if we truly want to find meaning in our lives. In anticipation of the book’s launch, he recorded a podcast episode titled “Find the Meaning of Your Life, Part 1 of 3: Get Better at Boredom.”

During the episode, he references an experiment in which participants were asked to watch different types of films, monotonous, sad, or neutral. When watching the monotonous, boring content, many chose to give themselves small electric shocks rather than sit with the boredom…suggesting that people sometimes prefer discomfort or even pain over feeling bored?

He goes on to explain that boredom creates a sense of low autonomy and lack of control. When we feel stuck or passive (like waiting during a delayed flight), we try to regain control. And how do we do that? By distracting ourselves and eliminating our boredom (usually by doomscrolling on our phones). Boredom isn't just something that is uncomfortable; it's something that we actively avoid.

But, according to Dr. Brooks, there is a major benefit to getting better at being bored.

It encourages the brain to involuntarily engage in self-reflection (i.e., why does my life matter). Or, ponder the deep questions that help us find meaning in life!

So, can you find time to practice being bored this week?

Here are a few examples that Dr. Brooks recommends:

1. Workout without headphones.

2. Take a long, long shower.

3. Commute in silence.

4. Try to actively notice new, real things.

It will be uncomfortable (trust me, I have been practicing), but just wait...

Wait for what?

You'll see. 😉

Now, go practice being bored.

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Find one thing that brings you joy today.