Is Spider-Man's Real Superpower a Growth Mindset?

Picture this with me.

You're at a lunch meeting, summer picnic, or a five-year-old's birthday party. The food is finally set out, and the host announces, "Food's ready. Dig in!"

Then...nothing.

Everyone glances around the room waiting to see who will make the first move toward the buffet line. Depending on the crowd, someone quietly stands up and gets things rolling, or someone inevitably says, "Well, somebody has to go first!" Within seconds, everyone else follows. It's an unspoken rule, but one that turns hesitation into action. It only takes one person to make the first move.

Of course, making the first move isn't reserved for sandwiches and potato salad. Someone can make the first move when it comes to asking someone on a date, being the one to say ‘I’m sorry,’ or speaking up in a meeting.

One of my favorite recent examples comes from an unlikely superhero.

According to the New York Post, Christopher Hellenthal was driving home from a superhero-themed work event dressed as Spider-Man when he spotted a man in a wheelchair struggling to cross six lanes of traffic in Arkansas. Other people were there and saw what was happening. They shared the same uncertain glances we all know so well. But Christopher made the first move.

That news story made me think: Why is making the first move so difficult? And what gives some people the courage to do it anyway?

Whether you're asking someone on a date, admitting you were wrong, speaking up during a meeting, or helping a stranger on the side of the road, there is always a degree of risk. You might fail, be rejected, look silly, or put yourself in an uncomfortable situation.

Yet some people, like our Arkansas Spider-man, seem much more willing to take that risk.

I think many first movers have one thing in common: A growth mindset.

Before you decide whether that's you, let's define what it actually means.

Psychologist Carol Dweck, the queen of growth mindset research, describes a growth mindset in her work as the belief that our intelligence, talents, abilities (and I'll add our "specialness") can be developed through effort, strategy, and practice. Think of The Little Engine That Could: "I think I can. I think I can."

The opposite is a fixed mindset: the belief that your abilities are pretty much set in stone.

Instead of I can learn, it's I just can't. Instead of I'm not there yet, it's That's just who I am.

So, which internal voice sounds more like yours?

When you face something difficult, do you think, I can figure this out, or I can't because of x, y, and z?

If you're currently in the "I can't" camp, don't panic. That's exactly what the cognitive gym is for.

A growth mindset is something that you can build through reps. Psychology Today outlines several practical ways to strengthen a growth mindset, and neuroscientist Andrew Huberman has shared research-backed strategies for using it to improve performance. I also love the simplicity of a short TED Talk Daily episode that reminds us why this concept matters so much.

A key takeaway from all of the literature I've consumed on growth mindset is that it changes our relationship with failure. Instead of viewing failure as a final verdict on who we are or what we're capable of, a growth mindset reframes it as data and feedback about what to do next.

It protects our confidence and gives us courage because we're no longer afraid of rejection or setbacks. Asking someone out on a date and hearing "no," or sharing a different perspective with your boss only to have it shot down, no longer becomes evidence that we're not good enough. Instead, those moments become opportunities to learn, adapt, and improve. It's motivation to make the first move all over again.

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If I had to summarize everything I've learned about developing a growth mindset into three practical steps, it would be this (but I do highly recommend you check out some of the thought leaders referenced above):

1. Learn what a growth mindset actually is. Awareness comes first with this skill. Once you recognize the difference between a fixed and growth mindset, you'll start noticing your own thinking patterns.

2. Treat mistakes as data and not identity. Instead of saying, I failed, so I'm a failure, ask, What can I learn from this?

3. Praise effort, strategy, and persistence (both in yourself and others). Focus less on "being naturally talented" and more on the behaviors that lead to improvement. Reflect on the real work that you and others put in.

As you can imagine, adopting a growth mindset can lead to a more satisfying and fulfilling life because it gives us the confidence and courage to make the first move.

Are your Spidey senses tingling yet?

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Find one thing that brings you joy today.