Are you Hungry?

Hunger is defined as a craving or urgent need for food or a specific nutrient. It is often described as an uncomfortable sensation or a strong desire. To satisfy that hunger and reach a level of fullness, the natural human response is to eat.

But have you ever been hungry...and nothing sounds right?

Maybe your spouse or a friend starts listing dinner options.

"Pizza?"

"No."

"Tacos?"

"Not really."

"Sushi?"

"Nah."

You know you're hungry for something, but you can't put your finger on what that something is. The frustration starts to build because you know you aren't satisfied.

Lately, I've realized that's exactly how I've been feeling.

I have been extra hungry lately. But instead of craving a specific food, I am hungry for... something more. This feeling started to creep in after I completed my PhD.

For years, I identified as a doctoral student studying work and life satisfaction. Every semester, every chapter, every revision, and every late night moved me toward one finish line. The momentum and the process itself was exhilarating.

Then I crossed the finish line. After the deadlines disappeared, the momentum slowed, and the celebrations ended, I was left with a feeling that I couldn't quite explain or define. I could only describe it as feeling like hunger, but it was deeper than the surface-level belly growl. I wasn't craving a meal (although dark chocolate did help a little), I was craving something else. I just couldn't figure out what it was or where to find it.

As I usually do when I can't explain something, I turned to the research.

That's when I discovered the concept of the arrival fallacy, coined by positive psychology expert Tal Ben-Shahar. He describes the arrival fallacy as reaching a particular goal and expecting it to bring lasting happiness or fulfillment, only to discover that the feeling is surprisingly fleeting.

Reading that definition felt like someone had finally put words to an experience I couldn't name.

A 2026 Forbes article expanded on the idea by referencing research from Harvard Business Review. The research suggests that we often overestimate how fulfilling achieving a goal will be. While we imagine achieving the goal will be what brins lasting happiness, our brains are often rewarded most by making progress toward the goal itself.

In other words, we enjoy the journey more than the arrival.

The article went on to give examples of people this might describe: Olympic athletes who dedicate their lives to winning gold, executives who spend decades pursuing the corner office, faculty members who work tirelessly toward tenure, and lottery winners. All of them spend years imagining that one moment will finally make them happy. Then it happens, and they're left thinking, That's it? Myself included.

Then I came across a conversation between thought leaders Arthur C. Brooks and Simon Sinek that helped me make even more sense of what I was feeling.

Dr. Brooks explained that some Olympic gold medalists experience clinical depression shortly after winning because they expected the achievement to provide a permanent sense of fulfillment.

Then he said something that changed the way I viewed my newfound hunger:

"Mother Nature doesn't care if you're happy. She wants you to win."

So, if accomplishing the goal isn't what satisfies the craving, what does?

Of course, I went back to the research.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running study of adult life spanning more than 85 years, found that strong, meaningful relationships are among the greatest predictors of a long, healthy, and happy life.

Happiness expert Dr. Brooks suggests that the happiest people consistently invest in four things:

• Their faith, spirituality, or guiding life philosophy.

• Their family.

• Their friendships.

• Meaningful work that serves other people.

  
  

My own dissertation adds another ingredient to the recipe for life satisfaction.

Across thousands of people from dozens of countries, one of the strongest predictors of life satisfaction was autonomy. When people feel they have meaningful choice over how they live their lives, they tend to experience greater life satisfaction.

As I sat with all of this research, I kept going back to one sentence from the Forbes article:

"The goal was never to stop arriving. It was finally time to start living in the space between."

I reread that sentence several times. It stuck with me, but mostly because it wasn't new advice. "Be where your feet are." Yoga. Meditation. Positive psychology. Even my own dissertation. They all point toward a similar recipe for a meaningful and fulfilling life.

• A generous helping of meaningful relationships.

• A healthy serving of faith, spirituality, or a guiding life philosophy.

• Meaningful work that serves other people.

• The freedom to choose how we spend our days.

  
  

Is that the recipe for what I've been craving?

I'm not sure.

But for the first time in a while, I think I know what I've really been hungry for.

Bon appétit.

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Find one thing that brings you joy today.