What's Worth Keeping?

I joined the masses in starting the New Year by reading (well, listening on Audible) to Atomic Habits by James Clear.

In Chapter 18: The Truth About Talent (When Genes Matter and When They Don’t), James invites readers to reflect on the question: What feels like fun to me but work to others? He expands on it with prompts like:

• What comes naturally to me?

• What makes me lose track of time?

• Where do I get better returns than the average person?

  
  

I was listening to the book in the shower, reflecting on the questions for a moment… until I was abruptly pulled back to reality by the realization that I was almost out of body wash. Ah, yes, the mundane, doing what it does best: distracting us from what actually matters. Mhm.

I went on with my evening, the book playing in the background while I folded laundry, played with my pup, started making dinner… blah blah blah. Around 8 p.m., my husband got home from work, and we melted into our usual evening wind-down rituals.

The book remained paused.

The next morning, while I was updating my syllabi and sipping on a coffee, I was ready for some company. Instead of picking Atomic Habits up where I left off, I rewound two chapters. I’m not really sure why...Maybe I wasn’t ready for the book to end? I had a few solid hours of tactical work ahead of me and wasn’t ready to invest in a new book (or a new voice) quite yet. Whatever the reason (maybe a little sign from my friend, the Universe), I landed back on Chapter 18, and James’ original prompt met me there again: What feels like fun to me but work to others?

This time, I was in the zone (and much less distracted by the need to run errands), so the prompt made me stop and grin. This, I thought. Well… maybe not this (updating my syllabi), but the bigger version of this: preparing to be back in the classroom with my students. That feels like fun to me.

But why is it fun?

That question sent me down a road that ultimately brought me back here, with this message for you.

The thing that comes most naturally to me is sense-making. In my work as a professor, researcher, yoga instructor, podcaster, and writer, I spend a lot of time consuming other thought leaders’ ideas, connecting the dots, deciding what’s worth keeping, and letting the rest go (at least in my world). Then I share what sticks. Sometimes that’s with my students… and sometimes it’s with you.

That’s what puts me in a flow state. I could sense-make every day for the rest of my life with ease. It’s fun. It comes naturally. It makes me lose track of time. All the good stuff.

Is anything fun coming to mind for you yet?

When I shared this epiphany with my husband over a cup of steamy coffee, he smiled and said, “Yeah… that’s your favorite thing to do. Share all of the stuff you learned with me! That's what you're always doing." “Huh… I guess you’re right,” I smirked back.

Yup...it’s infiltrated (for better or worse) all aspects of my life. That’s when you know it’s right. In my head, I played a supercut of the last year with my husband: cocktails, dinners, vacations, late-night chats. Me, with a Manhattan or a wine glass in my hand, pulling up notes on my phone to share my takeaways from a book or podcast. Lying by the pool saying, “Hey, did I tell you what I learned from…?” Sitting on the couch with eye patches on, asking if we could pause a show so I could share x, y, or z.

Yup, he was right. That is my favorite thing to do, and I am always doing it.

Okay, okay, okay, but why does any of this matter to you? Or maybe it won’t. But in my nature… I’m going to sense-make and share it with you anyway.

This year, I’m going to take a slightly new angle on what I share here. I’m going to lean hard into what’s fun for me. Let me explain.

I’ve read (or listened to) nearly every top personal and professional development book. I’ve taken all the popular self-assessments. I’m completely up to date on the Mel Robbins Podcast, The Jay Shetty Podcast, The Diary of a CEO, and I have a rolling list of thought leaders (Simon Sinek, Codie Sanchez, Brené Brown, just to name a few) that I follow pretty religiously.

Listen, I don’t have kids, which means I have a lot of time and energy on my hands. And I genuinely want to spend that time learning as much as I can and sharing the best parts (or, as I like to say, what’s worth keeping). The same stuff I yap to my husband about. The takeaways I pull from everything I read and listen to, all living in the notes app on my phone.

I want to share that notes app with you.

Why? Because self-help is overwhelming! I’m overwhelmed by everything I’ve consumed. That’s why I focus on what’s worth keeping, not implementing it all. I learned the hard way that over-consumption of self-help leads to action paralysis and it can actually have the opposite of “self-helpy” results.

So, I’m going to start by sharing my favorite New Year manifestation content with you. Of course, this is all from my narrow perspective, so you may taste my bias baked in. And if you don’t… just know it’s there.

This is all food for thought.

So, here are my main notes app takeaways from my top four favorite manifestation resources.

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Manifesting by Kris Ferraro

Wheeeeew. Manifesting by Kris Ferraro was the very first manifestation book that ever made its way to my bedside table.

Have you ever read a book and wished you could go back in time and read it again for the first time? That’s the gooey feeling I get every time I think about this gem. The entire book is filled with highlighted pages and my scribbled notes, but page 16 definitely got the most love.

On that page, Kris shares a list of questions we can use to manifest on purpose. My favorite question is:

You wake up one day filled with excitement. You can't wait for this day to begin! What's happening?

What did you picture when you read that prompt? If you really take a minute to sit with your answer, you’re already on track to figuring out your WHAT.

You’ll know what I mean about your WHAT in a second…

Chapter 11 from You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero

"Your job isn't to know the how, it's to know the what and to be open to discovering and receiving, the how," (p. 96).

Jen Sincero goes on to write, “Keep your thoughts directed at your goal, do everything that you do know how to do to make it happen, decide with unwavering determination that it will happen, and be on the lookout for the opportunity.”

It’s so easy to get stuck on the how that we forget why we chose our WHAT in the first place. But it’s the WHAT that matters most. Once we’re clear on the WHAT, we can do what’s currently within our power to move toward the how, and little by little, some version of the WHAT becomes our reality.

Action is required to successfully manifest. But that action doesn’t start with the how; it starts with identifying the WHAT.

And that leads us to (drumroll)...

The Mel Robbins Podcast Episode 352

#1 Neurosurgeon: How to Manifest Anything You Want & Unlock the Unlimited Power of Your Mind

Dr. Jim Doty, a world-renowned Stanford neurosurgeon and neuroscientist, shared the following advice on the Mel Robbins Podcast. This is what made it to my phone notes:

"Manifestation is fundamentally based in neuroscience. There is no woo-woo, there's no magic..." (29:18).

In the episode, Dr. Doty explains that the concept of manifesting is often misunderstood because “there’s a lot of woo-woo and pseudoscience,” and “a lot of people take advantage of that, and it turns, unfortunately, into a money-making opportunity for some people.” 

He notes that manifestation has been framed historically as if “if you have positive energy and you put that energy out in the world, you will be able to manifest the Porsche, the Ferrari, the mansion,” and if it does not happen, “it’s your fault… or just buy another book and I’ll tell you the real way to do it.”

Dr. Doty rejects this framing and states clearly that “the reality is… the ability to manifest is fundamentally based in neuroscience.” He emphasizes, “There is no woo-woo, there’s no magic, there’s no law of attraction,” despite how the idea has been propagated historically through “the hermetics,” “prosperity gospels,” and other belief systems.

He then offers his definition, stating, “I’ll define manifestation as the ability to take an intention and embed it into your subconscious in a manner such that it has the greatest likelihood to occur or to manifest.” According to Dr. Doty, manifestation is not mystical but rather a function of how the brain processes information.

So, how do we embed something into our subconscious mind?

We have to expose ourselves to WHAT we want and make it a habit.

Dr. Doty explains that habit formation works because “the mere repetition of those habits actually lays down the circuitry that then gets embedded and then actually makes things happen.” Through repetition, individuals are “creating these neural pathways.”

Dr. Doty emphasizes that intentions are most effectively encoded when multiple sensory systems are engaged. He states that “when you’re able to use all of your sensory organs or abilities to embed that intention and do it repeatedly, that is when you’re creating these neural pathways.” As an example, he describes a process in which “you take a pencil, you write it down… you read it silently, then you read it aloud, then you visualize that, and you do that over and over and over again.” (Ahem… the power of reflecting on your WHAT and creating a vision board!)

I highly recommend listening to the full episode, but this was, without a doubt, my favorite part.

So that leads us to...

Vision Board Kit

Manifesting by Kris Ferraro, Chapter 11 of You Are a Badass, Episode 352 of The Mel Robbins Podcast all reiterate the same idea: the WHAT matters, and there is real power in visualization. A vision board is a tool for actionable manifestation, but it has to be intentional. It helps create the neural pathways that Dr. Doty talked about.

That said, I think the vision-boarding process can feel like a chore. Sure, you can create a digital vision board in Canva or put together a mood board on Pinterest. But I would argue that the act of working with a physical board is the best practice.

The problem? Gathering the materials alone can feel like a project. I need a board. I need old magazines. Do I even have magazines? And on and on and on.

For $44.99 on Amazon, you can get a Vision Board Kit that includes 150 visualization cards, a board, and a guidebook. If you want to make it easy and actually get it done, this resource rocks.

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Oh, and in case you’re more of an audio listener like me, the podcast will be reading this column.

Okay, friends...that’s all for now. I hope this bit of sense-making was helpful. I enjoyed sharing with you. It was fun.

Find one thing that brings you joy today.